To me it feels that the last eight years have gone by so fast. I remember when the incident of 9/11 happened I was in geometry when they announced it. It feels as if time is going by so fast. This year I lost three friends and two relatives ( my aunt then my grandmother). Now more than ever I started thinking more so (seriously) about where I'm going in life and what I really want. I've actually enjoyed being single, being so used to it I guess its inevitable lol, I've found it comfortable I guess you could say. I got into a band, worked one quite a few songs/song ideas and felt comfortable and somewhat proud of myself. I've built long lasting relations with my band members something that I will always cherish. And quite frankly I have never been so at ease in my life. I've become more accepting of people, more than I could have thought. And the anger and sadness has just lifted. Though I feel something missing form time to time. I tend to forget about it and the question still seems to find its way back. I have made many friends, and many more through drunken nights, and seen such diversity you wouldn't seen growing up around a bunch of old white people lol. College has been my only answer so far, but that emptiness is still there. Its not love I can say that for sure. I believe it may be that I feel I haven't done enough in my life at this point. To go out and see the world a bit more so. I've been so locked up in this hell hole they call Beaumont, Texas for over 23 years. And in the end only college is in my way. With my mother and fathers health as it is there's not going to be much support left. Its rough going to school and working full time. But I'll get out and look forward to the freedom that awaits. God knows I've been anxious about it. Tonight will be a sober night chilling with an old friend of mine and reminiscing and seeing the future ahead. There has been too much sorrow over the years, and things have gotten much better. I guess I feel that I am alone but in reality there are friends of mine doing the same thing. I just tend to take things father than needed. Life is short, especially when you're young. Live it to your fullest and be wary for not all things that you do will bring forth something good, some of the consequences can cost you dearly. Be happy the sun rose and set. And another day has passed, allowing you to grasp the life you have. I take it for granted more often than not. I wish peace upon my friends and even to those that have moved on.
While sleeping deeply
Inside our beds
The sun slowly rises
With the color orange glowing red
Another opportunity
To live yet again
To wake to sleepy eyes
Just wanting to go back in
The morning sun
Gives birth to a new day
Once again
So we can work and play
And at the end
When the sun sets
We all fall asleep
Only to forget
- Mood:
Wow! - Listening to: "Rammlied" by Rammstein
- Reading: Ron Paul's "The Revolution"
Halloween Party
